13 Stupid Questions with Jason McMaster

RUFKM.NET: 13 Stupid Questions with Jason McMaster of Broken Teeth, Dangerous Toys

Jul 6th, 2009 | By Loose Cannon

The economy has taken it’s toll on many industries, but nobody has been hit harder than the publicity department at Broken Teeth LLC. It is quite sad, but this company cannot even afford plastic cases or original copies of it’s artists music.

Broken Teeth is one of several lesser known bands playing on ShipRocked, a rock and roll cruise departing from Ft. Lauderdale in November. They are playing with headliners Queensryche, Tesla, and Skid Row. We are doing “13 Stupid Questions” with all of these bands and, besides the headliners, we hadn’t heard of the bands and/or their music. Because of this, they all sent us their latest CD, T-shirt, DVD, or concert tickets if they happened to be touring near one of our writers. This was cool because we always like hearing new music.

Last week, in our headquarter’s mailbox, we found a package postmarked from Texas. We opened it and inside there was just the front and back of their CD artwork with a BURNED COPY of their latest release, Electric. Yes, besides having the least marketable band name in history, they also did not fit jewel cases or original CDs into their quarterly budget.

Broken Teeth believes in paper, not plastic.

We knew immediately that this album would be fantastic. It did not disappoint as the music contained on it rivals the work of Spinal Tap and Steel Panther…. but not intentionally (we think). They should put a comedy routine together like the before mentioned bands and go on tour. It would be incredible. Let us explain.

The cover shows a skull being electrocuted in an electric chair (get it? Electric!) and the back artwork has a man face down in the dirt being hit by lightening. That coupled with the fact that the band was called Broken Teeth led us to believe that the music would make Slayer sound like Jack Johnson.

Nope! It sounds like exactly like AC/DC …… if AC/DC decided to produce their albums in my cousin’s tool shed and had even cornier lyrics. Like I said, we knew it would be fantastic.

We have several concerns with this interview with Broken Teeth for several reasons:

• They all look like they recently escaped from prison and murder people on the weekends.
• They are all from Texas where everyone over the age of 6 owns a gun and is trained to kill.
• They will be on the same cruise as us and we will have nowhere to escape except to jump overboard.

On the left is Hasbro’s “Sack of broken glass.” Dangerous!

Regardless, here’s our “13 Stupid Questions” with lead singer/songwriter Jason Mcmaster.

1. You were once the lead singer for the band Dangerous Toys, a band famous for having scary looking clowns on their album covers and songs with outrageous lyrics and spelling errors like “Teas N’, Pleas N’ .” Besides Lawn Darts and Hasbro’s “Sack of Broken Glass,” what are some other toys parents shouldn’t let their children play with?

-i still am in the toys. we have been doing all the summer festivals the past couple of years. its been a blast. broken teeth has been on a couple of them as well,double duty on those particular fests with broken teeth. parents should not let their children play with marital aids during any dinner parties.

2. Please explain the brainstorming session that made you decide that Broken Teeth was the best possible name for your band. In addition, during this band meeting, were the names Inflamed Incisors, Moldy Molars, and Corroded Cuspids close runner ups?

-no band meeting, just had a couple of ideas of what conjures up in your head when you think of a name like broken teeth, a bar fight? passing out from sheer massive volume of rock n roll? alot of things can make you break your teeth. i think the name describes danger,as well as bad hygiene,which alot of rockers seem to have. no other names were anywhere close by, there might have been one option, and i don’t remember what it was.

3. We notice from your publicity shot that none of your are smiling. Are you just an angry bunch or do you all actually have broken teeth?

- as it is a known fact that smiling in a rock band pic is not that popular, but, its OK sometimes. bad boy image is just as important as not taking yourself too seriously.at least we weren’t standing near the railroad tracks wearing trench coats.

“For the last time, we don’t play Big Bottom!”

4. Why is their no obvious cover of Spinal Tap’s “Big Bottom” on “Electric?”

-i guess the good ideas like that don’t come when you need them the most.

5. Besides Spinal Tap, you are heavily influenced by AC/DC. You have a song called Bonfire which is also the name of an AC/DC box set that honors the late Bon Scott. However, the lyrics A witches brew for me to chew doesnt lend much to this theory. Are we looking too deep?

- yes, that’s the kind of tongue in cheek nod to acdc we seem to have throughout.bonfire is about a super sexy girl from Vermont,who’s name in bonnie,get it? bonfire? she was very deserving of having a song of her own. the title was obvious, and like i said, seem to fit what we do already.

6. We like to truly understand the meaning of songs. What are the tracks “Shes Gonna Blow” and “Stick it In” all about?

-shes gonna blow, could be about a storm, or something about to explode, -and stick it in….i talk about candy, and playin in her sand box…all of those sexual innuendos start to paint pictures.

7. We dont usually talk about lyrics in our interview but since Broken Teeth are quite the wordsmiths, we really have no choice. In the before mentioned track Stick it In you say I wanna smell your breath, I wanna crystal your meth Genius! Where do you come up with this stuff?

-i think i stole that from a motorhead song. some think i say, “i wanna cripple your pet”.

8. The title track Electric sounds slightly (read: exactly) like AC/DCs classic song Let There Be Rock. To get away with this, are you obligated to purchase all of Angus schoolboy outfits until he dies?

-your wrong, the song”blood on the radio”..(not the song “electric”)..sounds exactly like “let there be rock”.

funny, our ex-guitarist for teeth(paul lidel,former dirty looks,but who plays in dangerous toys) plays angus in an acdc tribute called “big balls”.

9. Back to lyrics. In the song Bonfire you say It was 1977, I was about to hit my stride. This album came out a year ago. How fucking old are you?

-try harder next time, but i will let you in on it… bonnie was born in 1977, i was already born and doing my thing. i am old.

10. On this album you have the songs titles Hell for Sale and Devil Money. This begs the question: Is it possible to buy Hell with Devil Money and do you get frequent flyer miles with this method of payment?

-devil money is money made by strippers,dealers,and bartenders who sell legal as well as illegal opportunities, or tools that create welcomed havoc. hell is a small town in Michigan. you can buy a lot of land in hell for almost nothing these days. blood money, devil money, its all green and dirty.

11. Your management company is Tone Deaf Touring. Did you select this based on your singing style or it just a coincidence?

-booking agent, management, call them what you will, we are all just trying to get our music heard.and they’re helping us as well as the entire roster they have. not because i think that i might not be as good a singer as i think i am, or because i thought that tone deaf touring had to be my agent because its name. nice try.this joke isn’t even funny, but…you gave it hell.

12. We cant stop with the lyric questions. In the song Hangin By The Skin you state “She said she practiced basic dentistry, she had the cavity, but she was ready to receive, but the doctor bill cost as much as a Lamborghini.” Wow… I mean…wow. What in the name of Thor happened to all of your teeth?

-high price hookers running behind guise of a doctors office is a pretty good scenario for a fantasy brought thru a rock n roll song.teeth, or just a physical of some kind(wink).

13. Please confess that Broken Teeth is actually an undercover collaboration between Steel Panther and Spinal Tap. Please let this be true. It is the only reasonable explanation.

-i can see why the comparisons might seem close, being that i obviously write some silly lyrics, with the typical sexual inuendos found in all fun rock and metal songs, acdc, motorhead, the list is too huge…but your suggestion is pretty funny, i can see how that would seem logical to you as your questions have been quite entertaining, there alot more to all of this than funny words put together.

Thanks, Jason! You were a great sport. Please don’t kill us/throw us overboard on the ShipRocked cruise.